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Families find remarriage success after divorce

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The Dread Of Divorce How A Collaborative Divorce Saves A Lot More Than Money

Divorce . . . ranked second as one of the most stressful life events according to a well-established research study*, often turns rational, respectful, caring couples into angry, spiteful adversaries during the legal divorce process. The result can have far reaching, damaging emotional effects for husband and wife, as well as their children for many years to come.

Unfortunately, these negative effects are widespread in American society as current statistics indicate that 50% of first marriages end in divorce, and 60% of couples who remarry become casualties of divorce. Traditional legal divorce proceedings, which usually pit husband against wife in a "win at all cost" manner, no doubt play a large part in the stress levels that couples experience.

A New Trend in Marriage Dissolution

There is a relatively new alternative to traditional divorce called Collaborative Divorce which minimizes the psychological trauma as well as the financial expense of divorce. Both parties and their respective Collaborative Family Lawyers sign a participation agreement in which they agree to work together to achieve a satisfactory settlement in a cooperative manner. The participants agree not to go to court and to voluntarily disclose relevant information. Settlement is achieved through four-way conferences, informal discussions, and other non-litigation alternatives.

Both attorneys spend their time and effort to settle the case instead of preparing for and conducting a trial. Collaborative Divorce requires that all parties cooperate, and act in good faith with integrity and honesty. This means the process moves forward much more quickly -- requiring less time from each attorney -- resulting in lower legal fees. Nonexistent are the traditional, adversarial divorce tactics couples engage in such as exaggerated accusations, delays, "wearing the other side down", etc.

Comparison of Contested Divorce Litigation and Collaborative Divorce

Common Questions:

I am so upset and angry right now, how can I talk to my spouse about collaborative divorce?

The Collaborative Law process uses the attorney's roles and structured agendas to make talking to your spouse easier. Couples who see the benefits of Collaborative Divorce -- both emotional and financial - put their emotions aside during the very structured meetings. Couples who behave irrationally, or cannot overcome extreme anger may not be candidates for Collaborative Divorce.

In Collaborative Divorce, will I still get a lawyer who will vigorously represent my interest?

Yes. Attorneys are trained to advocate their clients' interests no matter what the circumstances. If you are not satisfied, you are free to hire another attorney.

What if we sign an agreement and later my souse doesn't abide by it?

Final agreements reached through Collaborative Law are drafted into a court order which, when signed by the judge, becomes an enforceable decree. How do I know if Collaborative Divorce or Traditional Divorce is best for me?

Consult a family law attorney who practices Collaborative Law and offers traditional divorce services.

Collaborative Divorce may be an option for many of the millions of couples who divorce each year and want to avoid court, save money, and have both parties' needs met. Typically, it results in a less emotionally destructive and more dignified divorce for all involved. Indeed, the most important difference between divorce resolved in court versus a Collaborative Law Divorce is not the outcome, but what happens along the way. And we all know from experience in other aspects or our lives that we have to live through the journey to get to our destination.

*Source: "Social Readjustment Rating Scale" published in the Journal of Psychosomatic Research in 1967 by researchers Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe.

Charles D. Jamieson, Esquire, is the founding partner of The Law Firm of Charles D. Jamieson, P.A. in West Palm Beach, Florida. He has practiced family law for more than 25 years and has represented individuals or acted as a legal consultant in divorce and child abuse cases throughout Florida, as well as in more than 20 states during his career. Mr. Jamieson can be reached at 561-478-0312. Visit

Divorce Tip For Women #1 Way To Avoid Low Self Esteem After Divorce

How often do you acknowledge your victories? Do you focus more on where you fell short instead of congratulating yourself for your accomplishments? If you're a check off kind of gal like me you're probably focusing on what didn't get done. And oh boy does that negative self-talk start to chatter - it's sooo annoying, isn't it? Read on for a tip that will help you flip your focus.

All you do is look into a mirror before you go to bed and verbally acknowledge ONLY your accomplishments for the day .

It can be anything from standing strong to flashing someone a sparkling smile - the point is you focus on the positive. You end the friendly chat with a warm, heartfelt "I love you."

You may feel strange or uncomfortable at first but soon you'll get used to it. Do this for a minimum of 30 days to see real results. It's so simple and it works!

From the get-go this felt good to me and I started noticing my usual negative thoughts about myself take a backseat to a new sense of pride for my day's endeavors. I want to share three of the main benefits I experienced:

. Increased love for myself

. Increased self-esteem and confidence.

. Increased energy and momentum for the next day

You will feel happier with a more positive outlook. You will have more compassion and less criticism. In general you will have a much more gentle attitude towards yourself - letting go of judgment and punishing self-talk.

Do yourself a favor and make the decision right now to honor yourself. Be the first to give you a pat on the back for a great day's work. You'll stop relying on external feedback and feel completely empowered.

So get yourself to a mirror tonight for a little game of Mirror, Mirror..... and now I invite you to visit for more successful techniques on how to avoid low self-esteem.

Authored by Sherri Nickols - inspirational coach to women experiencing life changing emotional challenges who are ready to move forward for a sparkling new life.

Post Divorce Living How To Survive &Amp Thrive During The Holidays After A Divorce

Whether this is your first or tenth holiday season since your divorce, the time you get to spend with your kids can be a sore spot. This time of year we want our family close. Even the best co-parenting relationship can be tested during this time of year.

In setting up the holiday visitation schedule remember to be flexible. The holidays don't HAVE to be celebrated on a specific day. You can be creative with the time you have with your children and celebrate according to the time frame you have with them. The more pressure you put on celebrating on an actual day, the more likely you are to be stressed out which gets passed on to your kids and ruins the holiday for everyone. This isn't a matter of "giving in" and letting your ex-spouse get their way. This is about making a good holiday memory for you and your children. Don't lose sight of that.

In preparing for the holidays and the visitation schedule, your first priority needs to be to do what's best for your children, not necessarily what you want. Your divorce decree should have been very explicit about dates and times for holidays. If you don't have a good co-parenting relationship with your ex-spouse, then attempting to vary from the decree can spell disaster.

Any variations need to be discussed early and both parties need to be in agreement about them. If there is any hesitation or uncertainty, don't push the issue and stick with the divorce decree.

But what about your new partner and his-her family? How do they fit into the picture this year as well? Again, begin planning about this now! Find out what their schedule is and try to come up with some way for you to celebrate the holidays together. This can include the children or just be a couple celebration.

The holidays are meant to be a time of reflection and celebration, not stress and rushing around. Take the time you have now, at the beginning of the month, to plan accordingly so that you can enjoy. No matter how your year has turned out, there are things to be thankful for and celebrate so make the most of this holiday season! Life does move forward after a divorce, so make great holiday memories with your children your goal this year.

Parenting after a divorce can be hard. Visit today to gain support and education in moving forward from your divorce into a new life waiting for you and your children.

I'd like to invite you to join our Pre-Marital Article Archive to gain access to over 20 great articles on post-divorce living and preparing to move forward. Get more information by visiting

If you are in a new relationship and beginning to think about remarriage, now is the time to begin your preparation process! Don't waste any time, learn more about our best selling book, "THE 7 Questions to Ask Before Saying "I Do" Again at

All of this is brought to you by Alyssa Johnson.

Charles D. Jamieson, Esquire, is the founding partner of The Law Firm of Charles D. Jamieson, P.A. in West Palm Beach, Florida. He has practiced family law for more than 25 years and has represented individuals or acted as a legal consultant in divorce and child abuse cases throughout Florida, as well as in more than 20 states during his career. Mr. Jamieson can be reached at 561-478-0312. Visit

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